if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize