May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
