We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
