Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
