You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
