So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
