weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
