Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
