David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
