maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
