Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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