just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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