went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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