Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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