I just gift wrapped bread.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize