none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize