I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
