Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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