Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
