I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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