Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
