Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
