she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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