I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I need a beard to bite.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
