So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
