let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
