no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...so i touched it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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