What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
