I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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