if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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