I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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