plz talk dirty to me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
