Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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