Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize