I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A bitchslap is in order.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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