So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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