what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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