The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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