jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
