he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
