OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
