I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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