You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
