I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
