Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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