her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
