I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
