Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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