he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
