I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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