They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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