She is in my trunk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
