well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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