I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
