Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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