Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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