she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
