Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
